ET TU BRUTE!!!

ok, so i am really sleepy right now with the nerves of my head throbbing ceaselessly but i have to keep on writing otherwise ull miss the show. so today, i have got something which is highly experienced yet is totally controvercial and complicated to understand, explain and define. youll get to know what i am talking about once i narrate the brutal incident.
so jason met me at the university today all excited and filled with stories to spill. so, he made me sit at a corner and so he went on. the scoop of the day according to him was a popular guy of the college and his really close pal who, as he told me, had parted ways. now the reason obviously had to be a misunderstanding of some sort which they didnt even try clearing. now his version of the story was that they had a fight (some selfishness involved, i am not really sure) and it just kept on brewing till the time they officially declared and waged a cold war. as i am informed, some loyalties were lost somewhere and hence this gruesome end to a childhood friendship.
now, honestly, its really difficult to comment on such cases coz we only get to hear one version or a single dimension to the story but fail to get the others for a complete analysis. its really difficult to decide what went wrong and whose fault was it and in such cases where its not really defined who is to be blamed, i believe, they both are. fine, i agree they miscommunicated and had some problems but as they were 'friends' they couldve sorted it out by being vocal...which they obviously didnt prefer. now its not a single man process, its a relationship and hence has to be from both ways. ego doesnt count in friendship and even if you find the other side obstinate, i dont find it wrong to kneel to your ego and approach to solve problems. this is a solution of what i call as..'the middle syndrome'. in relationships theres no middle way, either its there or it isnt, you cant expect to form a strong bond on the foundation of pure diplomacy . hence, the formula saves you from hanging in the middle and choosing the left or right, which obviously the fate decides , and gues what...you decide your fate. friendship is truly a sensitive relationship which is made out of choice, so you always have all choices preserved as to what you want to make of it...or rather make it or break it. its all in your hands as its your creation. i wont say that about all relationships, but friendhip, i guess, is truly a matter of choice. i remember one of my relatives saying to me once 'we can choose our friends but we cant choose our relatives' which i guess makes sense now,and i am sure he knows it holds true for everyone and in all circumstances. but i am not propogating the system of 'a kink should be cut' rather i would say, if you face a kink in the thread of your friendhip then please try to untangle it before it gets too meshed to come out of, for, in that situation, cutting is the only feasible solution. i guess, this is one thing i am really not sure of and hence would abstain from commenting any further. you have the liberty to decide and the freedom to make way for the fate of your relationships. its you who choose , so go make your choice!

LOVE....THE FOUL PLAY?

well, this aint a song of a broken heart( sorry for plagiarising, but found it really cool!). heart and love, the two most cliche words i have heard in the last couple of days and honestly i have not been keeping up so well due to all the diabetese inducing mush i was subjected to and my doctor has kept me on a high dosage of insulin....poor me, i am dying of self pity.
ok, so from where did this all begin? you guessed it right! started from ....well....yet another time...jason! who guessed? please come and claim your prize. anyways so jason dropped by last night and he had those puppy teary eyes and it surely got me worried as i never see him this way, usually, though it was a respite from his eccentricities. so i got a bit tensed and had a volley of questions thrown at him on a single go with no rebuttals. pretty strange spectacle that was. so after a long tiring wait, he finally managed to open his mouth to utter ' blimy left me'. well, i couldnt get it on the first go but the first thing that got processed in my mind was ' yipppeeeeeee, finally! finally i got saved of calling that funny name, it was devastating' but, anyways, i had to act sympathetic and trying to bite the smirk under my lips, i designed a nice fabric of consoling statements which worked to my astonishment. so, a bit later, i got to know that blimy had dumped him for some other guy and this jack ass(jason) is blaming himself for her unfaithfulness. well, i got a bit irritated, initially at this but couldnt really say anything to him, matter of compassion and nothing else. and then the most nerve breaking lines i have ever heard in my entire life. 'i dont want to live! i want to die!' i am like, hello! excuse me! dude, are you in your bloody senses? well i managed that by counseling him a bit but left me contemplating the whole night.
so my question. is love the priority of our lives? and if it is(for all those who nod their heads like bobble heads in agreement) how do you define it? is it just plain lust which is for the majority of the population and if its not, then how do you really say you are in love? i guess most of you would say that my love is my best friend, the one who cares for me, shares my pains and happiness and blah blah blah, but honestly tell me, what do you really think of it?
ill tell you the majorities perspective. love for them is that scapegoat which for some time takes all the shit they have to say on the pretexts of being so called in love (because its fashionable to be in love or called committed) but after a while when you do everything you were supposed to do(if you know what i mean), all work done, good bye, have a great life. is that love? mere projections on valentines day? religious phone calls and long hour chats just for the sake of it? walking hand in hand because its meant to be? well, if you think its a yes, then i guess you should just go out of this blog coz i havent seen a more shallow guy/gal like you.
why do we get ready to do anything for that someone who stops loving us and is unfaithful? (as in jasons case) how can we even have feelings for somebody so disgraceful? i mean, fine, i agree you had feelings, and its difficult to purge them immediately but going to extremens is mere foolishness. and especially for somebody who you havent even spent a day properly with.
so tell me, is love all of that i stated above or is it much more than that? you talk of heart all the time but ever thought of the real emotions? did you ever try to understand the extent of your feelings for somebody minus his/ her physical qualities and exterior? if you are finally able to look above all of that and penetrate the interior, then only declare that youre in love. i know almost half of the population knows, says and promotes all that i say, but how many of us really implement? well, i know you dont have an answer and that in itself answers the tragic state of affairs. its really sad how the sacred word of love is being so shamelessly exploited and used so carelessly without any meaning and depth. i dont expect a change, but would like to effect one. only if you all (the jason breed) realize how insignificant these trivialities are in our lives. theres a life ahead and beyond and people can not be the end. just give this a try, i think i make sense.

COMPLYING TO COMPLICATING COMPLICATIONS

so here we are on a yet another bright sunny morning, i dont know how the weather is at your end but i am savouring every bit of the sun right now, what a respite from the torturous cold! so, you must be eagerly waiting for me to start my shit coz i am sure only those handful of cuckoo brains read my blog who are actually interested in adding a bit of crap in their lives. so for them, i am working hard, yet again, and so, here is my story for the day-
complication is the most complicated word that i have ever encountered. it actually compels me to think and analyze that how people complicate such simple issues of their lives into something so massive and uncontriollable and that too without any convincing and explanable reason. so it all started with jason and his friend (as usual, the problem child) who came ramming my door into my house and actually gave me something nearing to a cradiac arrest. well, they had a list of problems and as i am their unofficial and hence unpaid counsellor, i get to be the sounding board of all the shit of their lives. so now listen to this. they met this girl at a station who they said was looking pretty hot and they stepped up to her and started this random converstaion (just on the pretext of her looks, imagine! how lame)so, she exchanged numbers with them and they immediately reached cloud nine thinking the girl is very interested in them and would meet them again and the trail of dirty thoughts....
so, guess what? that girl called them yet again, and they fixed up a meetin, met both of them and they had a fun night out. now comes the catch. after their splendid night came to an end, the girl produces a whole list of things she did with them with the prices. imagine! they looked at her mortified and thinking she was a whore began saying things like ' but we didnt even sleep with you and stuff' which was so lame and she got immediately offended. i guess she was one of those paid professionals for friendships and stuff. now they dont have the money they owe her and she has all the plans to sue them. i rolled down my seat laughing when i heard the story and they got so angry with me that they left immediately and i guess i have to call them and apologise now, which i havent done since yesterday. shameless me!
now comes the question. why do people dig holes for themselves to fall in. i mean, do they not see the repurcussions of what they are doing or are they so blinded by their stupidity that they fail to understand how ridiculous they are. we always crib ' we are in deep shit and i am in trouble' but did we ever realize who creates these troubles? its not like it suddenly crops up from nowhere and like a weed tangles around your feet pulling you down into a bog. its you and only you who creates them and fall in your own creative traps. i know sometimes you dont really see that somethings coming up and you are not really prepared but theirs a solution to everything and prevention is any day better than cure. why do something or take decisions you are not sure about. when i say this, this shouldnt be misinterpreted as 'never take risks' infact, risks are what sometimes make u a better person, a stronger man, the road not taken is sometimes the road to be taken. but what i mean is, when you feel things might not go right and you know it can lead to 'complications', simply avoiding the route is the most advisable decision and solution. now it works for me, i dont know about you guys, but it always worth a try, and its not even a 'risk' to 'complicate' more. what say?

I vs I

I have always believed in the power of the mind, have actally experienced it several times, and am continuing to excavate its boundless domains with each passing day. but today, i want to discuss something which actually, like always, compelled me to think and realize how big a slave we all are..of this mind!
it, as usual, had to happen with jason, my close pal as everbody knows. well, it wasnt exactly him who was involved and who i'll be writing on, but his girl friend who has a ridiculous name and has a funny music to it, called ' blimy'. i mean, what kind of name is it? i was actually telling him either to re baptize her or leave her, or, the third option, never to bring her around me coz its really irritating to call her blimy in public, i mean just imagine that awful noise the name has!!!
anyways, sorry for derailing and getting back to what i was discussing. yes, so what exacly happened was that (its a really small and funny example but i guess it makes a lot of sense) blimy(ill call her miss b) and i were walking back from a superstore and had to take a bus as the next station was at a distance and jason was waiting for us at the next station and we were already running late. so, we took the bus and just next to the only two empty seats availble was a pretty girl sitting with a huge german shepherd(for all those who dont know, thats a breed of a dog) now the dog was just laid carelessly on the floor, not caring much of whose coming and going and was pretty well mannered, and surely i was impressed by the owners capabilty of training so well, and ...was, to a certain extent impressed by the owner herself, i mean, come on, she was actually amazing looking! ok, so back to the story. so, miss b clung to my shoulder and suddenly declared that we arent taking the bus and if we are, we'll just stand. i stared at her for quite a while, a bit mortified as, well, this was the only bus that we got after such a long wait and the incompassionate (i feel like usin a bad word, but ill restrain) lady wants me to stand when because of her i was walking for 2 hours in that ugly place filled with uglier women. and that too, just because she was scared. fear.
now a question. what is fear? where does it come from? well, its a very difficult thing to say but what i understand by this term is that its the most dangerous disease anyone can have. i agree we all fear something. phobias we call them. but that just doesnt come to us one fine day like a bolt from the heaven. it has a past, a history, and the mind...knows it all. it kills you bit by bit and you dont even realize that. its slow venom, but we keep on overlooking that till the time its actually late. we all are shackled, enslaved by our own mind...by our own selves. why do we fear anything external when the serpent runs right in our heads? she didnt fear the dog, she feared the mind which compels her to believe that the dog would harm her. on the contrary, my mind was made to believe that its a harmless creature, and hence the respective reactions to a common stimulus. and remember, i am not just talking of fears as material as the example stated above, but the fears which encompasses everything we are reluctant to do, all the emotions that we fail to feel, and all the thoughts that we refuse to understand. they are all fears of our own personality and your mind is the biggest player who juggles you and you readily succumb to it with no resistance. so whats the conclusion? whats the solution?
its very simple, learn to say 'nO'. the moment you say no to your own self, your mind starts fearing you, its just a matter of self confidence, of self restraint. we constantly are in conflict with others but did we ever realize that our biggest enemy lies within us? to win the world you have to win the battle of self vs self. and trust me, the moment you succeed to hoist your flag of victory, the world will be a better place to live in.
so, ask yourself today, who do you want to be, me or...me?

BREAK THE BORDERS

hello dear readers, i am hogging on chips and tea so happily, taking a sigh of relief coz jason just left and because of him i had to miss my meal. he and his problems, my god! its like, i think, i should start calling problems jason now. like for instance...'i have a jason or something like u r such a jason for me' (i know it sounds pretty lame but you have no idea what i go through everyday because of him) or rather, i guess, u have started knowing. you know what, whenever i hear the doorbell these days and i am having dinner or any meal for that matter, i restrain from opening the door, simply fearing to find him and if by all odd chances i land up finding him gawking at the door, well...there goes my meal and then by the time ill sleep he'll load me with all his boohooo stories and then i get so tired to cook that i have to retire with my stomach really angry with me. anyways, i have found effective scape goats in all you guys and so be ready to take all the shit that i have to endure each day, and here comes the one for today-
so he came as i mentioned earler at the oddest time possible and started discussing his sister with me(whose pretty hot by the way) he told me that his sister(i dont really remember her name, but m sure it starts with an m, so we'll stick with m) used to be a real nice girl, taking care of everybody and being positive about the world till the time people started taking her advantage and wounded her severely, emotionally. now when these things have started again, she has changed herself completely and is planning all the moves ( as she puts it by saying, 'precautions') beforehand and everything is under control now. nobody can hurt her now as she is already five steps ahead everone and knows whats going to happen next. but what he was concerned about was that ' would she be losing her real self, her identity, her purity in the process?'
well, what i think is, its a very complicated question with a real simple solution. i believe that be nice to people who are nice to you, be genuine to them like you are, but to those who target your self respect and pride, rebound towards them all that they throw to you. why do people link the words planning, plotting and scheming with the negative? like i always say, we have all the tools, its just that for what purpose and with what intentions you use them. planning can sometimes be really fruitful, can actually serve a huge purpose, but once that threshold gets crossed, you land up doing wrong. therefore, understanding that thin line, that microscopic separation between good and bad becomes really important. its just a matter of correct decision making and your discretion. innocence and preservation of that is a matter of choice. people keep saying that time takes your innocence away from u and you no longer remain so simplified as you were. well, i disagree with it. yes definitely, with time, a lot of additions happen, but subtractions are all in your hands. its your choice if you want to purge evrything that you were and remain with the things you have. but nobody can and will take the right or the capability to conserve and preserve your righteousness. its you who needs to decide what to do and where to draw limits. its a question of how well you understand your needs, yourself. we name things and words as positive and negative, but who knows what really means by good or bad. yes certain things can be totally justified but what about ambiguous things like emotions? who terms them as bad or good. its a matter of perceptions and circumstances.
so just grow wings and fly , just break the borders and free your minds

THE SPICE OF LIFE

oh my god! i really cant believe how one person can fall into troubles or to put it the other way, how the world finds ways to corner and target one unfortunate guy who usually tries to distance himself from the worldly politics. so you all, i guess ,must be knowing jason by now, my close pal, if you remember! so( i am feeling pity for the guy, really! as i write this) what exactly happened was, well i am really not very sure of the facts and jason doesnt know that the gory details of his personal life are spilled in public. any wazs, ill handle that later if he ever questions me about this, while you guys enjoy and savour the spice called life-
so as per my information, jason was paired in one of the classes as a group project with a harebrained chic who at the first go was really a pleasure to talk to, someone fun and jolly, but as events unfolded, her venomous ugly face came alive. so they were discussing something about how to manage intercultural groups and stuff and slowly she started imposing ideas over him, negating all his opinions and vetioing everything he had to say. he patiently dealt with that for a while till the time she started giving those `i know it all smirks' which really gets on the head and slowly seeps in and makes u sick to your core. that was the moment when he resoved that-ok, so here comes a female park and well, now she'll see me in action. so now, in retaliation(which has become his strange propensity) he started giving plain retorts to every sarcasm of hers till the time she finally managed to laugh her donkey brey and submit to what he said. after that came the disastous presentation where jason took the lead while she shamelessly smirked satnding mute at the back, proving to the audience how dumb she was. now alls said and done but as usual i have a question- why cant people mind their business and opinions to themselves? i mean is it too hard to shut up if you dont like the opinion rather than simply jump into the battle field with a sword to slice all throats? if you really dont agree with the person, their are thousands of ways to express that, than to be totally defensive or abusive. what is i guess the most preferable route to take is that just nod your head and after the person finishes you might start with something like ' i guess you might be right but i think....' this, i think is the most effective way of communication without hurting sentiments and threat to your social circle. but i guess, its easier to say than do, thats whats the problem with half of the world. i would surely forward this idea and everybody(or atleast the majority) would say 'yeah its true' but how many are going to actually adopt this? none! and thats where the problem lies. all of us are becoming air filled balloons, just ttally inflated with nothing to say and do. and trust me thats a sad state of affairs coz the ones who do, do all wrong and the minority of those who try the right are suppressed and imposed by people like the fat chic. i have no solutions to this other than to say, just give it back to those who deserve it, thats the way to be, so go for it. what say?

THE AMERICAN DREAM

i have a bit of problem with the world, i realized today. its not that its a serious issue to ponder upon, but, i guess, its a bit frustrating more than anything else. well, i call it ' living the american dream' and as usual, my pal jason becomes the inspiration to torture those seldom pair of eyes which due to some unfortunate circumstances access my blog and then go bald pulling their hair trying to figure out what i want to say. but well, best of luck to those men of steel, and ...here it goes..
so, jason, as i know him and as most of you who already are acquainted with him through my previous blog(i guess its a clever way to make you return and go through the prior mess of mine) is a real stud, someone with a head over his shoulders, someone who is super confident and wish to effect a change in the world through his concrete, unstirrable(if thats a word) opinonated grey matter. to him, everything has a logic, a profound analysis, and sometimes he gets really irritating with his pensive, contemplative facade, but i guess, i have got used to it. so, now coming back to the sad state of the world which compelled me to make it vocal. jason is a journalism student and is usually surrounded by an international team comprising of students from a multitude of nationalities like china, german, japan and...america! well, thats the word, that insufferable word(with all respect to america and the americans) which paved the way to a flaming or rather charred argument. so, as mentioned earler, he has an american guy called park doing the same course and unfortunately or not, this nemesis of his even shares common subjects...each and every one of them! now this guy has an inflated ego, so huge and massive that it can create one cellestial body with that. he is concieted, arrogant, a smart alec and all the synonyms to entail that, and well, to an extent, jason is remotely the same, yes the intensity varies, but, in over all approximation, he is a counter current to this dude. well, now they are in a european country presently(name cannot be disclosed) and the inhabitants of that nation are..well..pretty biased, and thats from where the real story begins. now, the entire class is usually quite at all times, might be due to the boredom but the most likely reason could be the handicap of english, as well as ...well, not sure, but...dumbness. so, at all occassions, jason and park are the only two active participants usually, and well, looking at them carry on that 'lively interaction'( which sometimes results in out and out action) its just...fun! so, what exactly happened was that the professor, a scrawny chinese guy, started asking questions and the moment jason raised his hand(and his point was pretty impressive), he was shown a clear sign of ignorance and the question immediately was forwarded to park, and guess what, park is a garrulous and a nonsensical speaker who, when talks, is uncontrollable, in length and in shit. jason overlooked that immediately and waited patiently for the next turn and to his utter astonishment, it happened again and again and again. and this wasnt the first time it happened, it was a repetition of some previous events with a slight difference, the proffessor. it was outrightly humiliating...disgusting! jason still spoke in retaliation, out of turn, just to prove his point, though it didnt help much. and now, even worse, he was shown a clear indication of bias when that scrawny ******* started sayin that ' our american friend should be an inspiration....' and blah blah blah over something which was totally out of context. jason left the class in frustration.
so, now my question, leave park and his irritating constitution, but why is half of the globe revering americans as if they control the world. is it just because the world feels subservient to them or is it because they have been lifted to an elevation by the same globe to be treated like god? who elects superpowers? who has the right to decide the weak and strong? who gives the liberty to draw lines between superior and inferior? is it that the world wants to be america and wishes to live the american dream just because they are assumed to be 'the cool part of the world' ? utter bullshit! what is so specal in them that we dont have , or you? i was just thinking recently that its such a pity that america doesnt even have a so called culture in its truest definitions, come to think of it. what can a tourist buy in america thats truly american? any guesses?...well ill tell you, its pure snob and nothing else. the world should learn how to patronize and condescend from america if they really are desperate to learn these traits. an inflated empty balloon, thats what america is and i really have no clue why the world has created this hallaboo about it. its just a nation with a bunch of guys thinking they are kings of the world and are born to rule while the smarter part of the world slowly steal their chairs away and they are left blabbering ,and thats it. i have nothing personal against americans but everything personal against those bunch of loons who worship the white house as if its the holy shrine of jesus. what has happened to what we called as loving who we are, respecting are culture and ethnicities? has it been cornered in your big wide eyes, now only giving place to the american dream? think about it, is it really worth it? is losing yourself the solution to success? i guess ones with a bit of sense got what i wanted to say and the others who didnt...i guess you just wasted your time reading this, this was for sensibles not for imbeciles.